Heaven Forsake Me
by Sheol
Summary: This is a Gohan story set after the Cell Saga. Gohan feels guilty about his father and wishes to not be born, only to have his wish be granted. Now he gets to see the world without him,... after Cell. JUST UPDATEDEPILOGUE IS UP!
1. Chapter1-My Splintered Cross

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or its characters. I am just boring them for my fanfic. I can only dream of owning them, so please don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.  
  
A/N: My second fanfic. I am still writing my first one. This is my first none B/V. I am trying to write one about something no one else has, I never read one about this before, but I am sure, knowing my luck, someone has written one like this before. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it. Please review! Thankyou.  
  
Chapter 1- My Splintered Cross  
  
I sat under the tree out by the pond trembling. In my mind, I could still see it. I could see my father standing before Cell, placing his hand on the monster's chest. That look of kindness in his eyes... that was so him. Not to regret, not to blame. A saint. But how could he not want to come back? Doesn't he know it isn't him? They would have come anyways. But again, so like him not to blame, to carry the cross.  
  
I closed my eyes to prevent from crying, but they slid down my cheeks anyways. It is me. All me. It is all my fault. If I wouldn't have been so selfish he'd still be here. If only I had listened to him, if I would have finished Cell... Damn it father! It should've been me! It should be me dead! I'm the one to blame! I am the one who let Cell live! I let him get away!... but Cell is dead now... but so are you...  
  
I squeezed my eyes tighter remembering the look on my mother's face. Knowing her youngest would never be held by his father. Knowing she would never be held by him... I bet she blames me. Why shouldn't she? It is all me. It's all me. But she'll never say it, she doesn't have to. I see it every day now. And we don't even have a body to place into the earth, which he loved so much. All we have is pictures, and he stares at me every day. Silently staring with those eyes, the ones he last looked at me with...  
  
I opened my eyes for a moment shocked. Shocked to realize I was crying uncontrolably now. I felt pain coarse up and down my body, as my father lingered in my mind. I wish I wasn't his, that way he would still be here. If he had another son, a better one, one that had listened to him, who wasn't so selfish and vengeful.  
  
"I-I wish I was never born!" I shouted choking on my tears. Then shock filled my mind as I realized I meant it. From the depths of my soul, my being, I meant it. My face felt hot and the tears like fire. Pain unbearably filled my heart. Here I am, sitting by the lake, the lake my father and I fished at together, and he isn't here! Where he belongs! And it's all because of me... if I wasn't here he would be. He would have had time to train himself and beat Cell. Like he beat Frieza. "I wish I was never born!" I shouted at the top of my lungs from the depth of my soul.  
  
Suddenly, I began choking, but it wasn't on tears. I opened my eyes surprised. Desparately, I began clawing at my throat, gasping. It got tighter and tighter. My gasping turned into wheezing, a long thin whistling sound, then nothing at all. I opened and closed my mouth, like a fish, as I dug my nails deeper into my flesh. I felt warm riverlets of blood run down my fingers. My head began to spin as my lungs burned, burned like fire, inside my corpse. The bright world became dim, shadows jumped before my eyes, teasing me, mocking me. I felt numb, so numb, my body was cold now. And so was my blood, running over my fingers like ice. My lungs were going to explode, like a bomb, they were going to explode and kill me. The shadows molded into one, and I fell into them. Deep inside, they welcomed me, taking me in, kissing my pain,... and I let them hold me. My world collapsed into blackness and I with it, a numbing blackness matching my own. And I welcomed, I fell, collapsed, into this abyss,... and all I could think was... "Heaven forsake me"  
  
  
  
I woke up, my head burning in a numbing way. I was still lying beside the tree outlooking the like.  
  
"Must've passed out." I muttered, finding it strange since it never happened before.  
  
I stood, but something was different. I couldn't quite place it. I began to walk to my house. The time seemed to fly between the lake and the house. I guess it was my mind. I couldn't concentrate. Before I knew it I was home. It seemed different though. Strange, my house always seemed inviting, like it glew with my father's spirit. But it was dark now. I opened the door and stepped in.  
  
Shock hit me immediately. The house was filthy! It was horribly dirty, but the floor was unswept, and objects carelessly laying around. Mom cleans every day. She must be sick, I though to myself. I heard crying in another room. I felt pain hit my heart. But my feet still carried me. I cracked the door to my parents, I mean, my mom's room and peeked inside. Mom was laying on the bed crying again, except she wasn't trying to muffle it like she always does. She wasn't trying to pretend anymore.  
  
I opened the door a bit more and walked into the room awkwardly. I realized what I wanted. I wanted to hold her. She bolted up and looked at me. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it. I looked at her oddly as she stared at me like... like she's seen a ghost.  
  
"Gokuh..." she whispered as she began walking towards me with her arms out.  
  
I felt a knife in my heart, but held back the tears. "Mom, no, its me." I said calmly. "Are you okay?" I felt like an idiot for asking that. Of course she's not.  
  
She drew her hands back immediately. "You're not my Gokuh." She whispered in awe, and then fright filled her eyes as she stopped crying. "Who are you! What are you doing in my house!" Suddenly, anger overcame her eyes. "HOW DARE YOU WALK INTO MY HOUSE UNINVITED! KIDS THESE DAYS!"  
  
"Mom! It's me! Gohan! Your son!" I shouted deeply hurt and confused.  
  
She seemed to get darker now. "H-how dare you! After my husband dies you have the nerve-OUT!!"  
  
My mother began throwing the nearest objects at me in a fit of anger. Too surprised to react I ducked the lamp as it crashed against the wall and darted out of the room. I quickly ran out of the house still able to hear objects breaking, and I ran until I could no longer hear them.  
  
I dropped to my knees, but not from exhausting.  
  
"Why, how could she... I knew it, I knew it." I wouldn't want a murderer for a son either. My eyes welled up, but I choked them back. I wouldn't cry. No. Not now. Not ever again.  
  
It was then that I vowed to never cry again. I set my mouth and stood up. Somehow I knew I had changed, but it wasn't then, it was at the lake. The closest thing my father has to a grave.  
  
I stood back up, and for the first time noticed I was taller. I looked down at my hands, my body. Another wave of shock. I had grown into a teenager over night!  
  
"My gosh. I look at least eighteen. Did I fall asleep that long?" I stared at my hands in disbelief.  
  
What else changed then? It was then that I decided to go to the city and find out. I looked down the twisting dirt road leading to the city. Yes, I would go to the city... while dragging my splintered cross down this serpent-like trail, and find out this new life's mystery forever.  
  
A/N: I hoped liked it. I know the first chapter isn't too exciting, but I must introduce it right? How much has changed? Why is he a teen when, according to the year (the year is set immediately after what time cells death occured by Gohan through the whole story), he should be a child still? And why does Gohan say heaven forsake me?And above all, what happened to the rest of the Z gang? Find out! 


	2. Chapter2-Into My Lost Future

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or its characters. I am just boring them for my fanfic. I can only dream of owning them, so please don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.  
  
A/N: I seriously hope this story is good, because it is hard to write. Ack! Writers block! I know what I want, but I can't put it into words! Anyways, enjoy! Review!  
  
  
  
Chapter 2-Into My Lost Future  
  
I wondered down the trail on the outskirts of the city. The woods were strangely quiet, nearly driving me crazy. Usually, the birds were singing their life's song. I saw a shadow flicker out of the corner of my eyes, and noticed a stranger in the middle of the road.  
  
I reared back into a fighting stance. Something was strange about her. She wasn't normal, I could since her... strange being. She wore a long, blue robe like the stars in the sky which floated on the ground covering her shoes. She had a black shash draped over her neck which hung down in front falling to the ground as well, and another black shash notted around her waste. The arms of her robe were wide, and she carried her hands in them.  
  
Her skin was a creamy color, vibrant with life, and her eyes a piercing blue, darker than her robes. Her hair was silver and long, falling past the small of her back. She smiled sweetly with her blood-red lips. Her spirit seemed to illuminate her in a light. She floated over the ground towards me. I reared back, but kept my composure.  
  
"Who are you!" I demanded authoratatively.  
  
"Who am I? You will know soon enough. But for now... lets fulfill your desire." I loosened up a bit, only out of surprise. "Your friends, Bulma. Lets take a visit to her, shall we. Take my hand."  
  
I looked at her through slanted eyes, but accepted her extended hand. Suddenly, the forest collapsed around me, and fell into a broken building. I blinked surprised.  
  
"Hey! How'd you do that?!" I said shocked, now a bit more relaxed.  
  
She looked at me pleased. "I take it you like. How about this?" She motioned around.  
  
I followed her hand to see a building that seemed abandoned to me. The walls were faded and wore a film of dirt. The carpet filled itself with mildew, along with the couch. The windows were cracked and yellowed, cracked enough to let light shoot through which dust danced in.  
  
"Now hold on Miss-"  
  
"Call me Gloria."  
  
"Gloria- you said we were going to Bulma's!"  
  
"Gohan, this is Bulma's."  
  
"How do you know my name! And how do you-"  
  
She held up a hand to silence me. "Look at what you see."  
  
I cast her an untrusting gaze, but nevertheless approached a table stand. I looked upon it at the clutter covering it, until a picture caught my eye. I picked it up and blew the dust off of it. The dust swirled about at my command, and revealed a familiar scene. Yes, it was during a barbecue taking when I was three. There was Bulma, Mother, Father- where's me?  
  
I blinked shocked. Suddenly I heard a heart-broken shriek. I spun around and rushed down the stairs. I went right into the room just in time to catch the end of the feud.  
  
"Me? Me?!! YOU THINK THIS IS MY FAULT VEJITA!!" Bulma sat shrieking, crying, brokenly. "you think this is my-y-y.." She began choking on her tears, falling to her knees, as Baby Trunks cried in vain, awakened by the shrieks.  
  
I gazed around the room at loss. Only her and Trunks were in here. No one else.  
  
"Who are you speaking too? Bulma?" I asked.  
  
Bulma didn't respond. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to face Gloria.  
  
"What is wrong with Bulma!" I demanded feeling helpless, and hating the feeling.  
  
"Vejita is gone. But don't tell her that. She will call you crazy."  
  
"Why can't she hear me?"  
  
"Would you like her to?"  
  
I looked oddly at her, then approached Bulma. I knelt down sliding my arm around her. She nestled into me like a child nuzzling my chest.  
  
"Vejita, Vejita, I knew you'd return." Trunks had quieted and fell back asleep. "They said you were gone- But I knew! I BELIEVED in you! V-v-eji-t- t-a..."  
  
"What happened? Who-"  
  
"Vejjie, don't you remember? They came, the androids, then that horrible Cell, and he took them..."  
  
"What are you talking about, Bulma? Don't you remember? Only father died.." A sudden pain shot through me at the thought of him.  
  
A crash echoed outside shaking the house. Bulma screamed, jerked away and grabbed Trunks. She coddled him close to her body, and began rocking to her sobs. I lept up and began running outside.  
  
I raced onto the front lawn only to have my Bulma's claims confirmed. The city laid in ruins. The buildings fallen to the foundation. I could see families peeking from the rubble at me whispering, sobbing...  
  
My knees buckled, but I remained standing. "What is this? WHAT IS GOING ON!!" I spun around to face Gloria who stood behind me.  
  
"Gohan, you wished this."  
  
"No I didn't! What do you mean? I don't understand." I said motioning to the city, or its remains.  
  
"You wished to never be born. Now here you are. You were not here to stop Cell, so he won. All that remains of your friends is your mother, Bulma, Trunks, and Piccolo."  
  
I stared in shock unable to respond. Then my face hardened. "Then bring me back."  
  
"No, I can't."  
  
"I wish to be born again! Bring me back!"  
  
"As if I wield the power. I am merely a handmaid. So what are you going to do, Gohan?"  
  
My face hardened. Bulma has lost all sanity, and she wants to know what I will do about it? My mom doesn't know me, and what will I do about it?  
  
"I will defeat Cell, and restore the earth with the Dragon Balls."  
  
"We'll see, we'll see, but nothing is as you left it."  
  
"There will be no 'we'll see'. It will be done! You may not wield the power, but I will gain it! And this mystery will end now! Forever!"  
  
With that Gloria extended her hand. A dragon radar rested in it. "Bulma's no longer exists, but here is the one from what use to be. I thought you may try this."  
  
I took the dragon radar and thanked her. Then, I flew off with my new companion into my future, or nonfuture, head on.  
  
A/N: Okay, okay. I know my chapters are short. But this story is hard to write! I promise it will get much better, but I am still on the introduction that's all. Something to look foreward to: Gohan meets a special friend, yes, from DBZ, but the Z-gangs dead? So what will happen in his battle with Cell? What will become of Bulma and Chi Chi and Trunks? And how is Piccolo? 


	3. Chapter3-Taste The Lie

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or its characters. I am just boring them for my fanfic. I can only dream of owning them, so please don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.  
  
A/N: I'm not sure how long this story is going to be, but I hope at least ten chapters if not more. Okay, this one is going to be hard to write. Help! I can't put what I want into words! AAHH! But, anyways, enjoy!  
  
Chapter 3-Taste The Lie  
  
I flew over the city letting the wind whip my face. It was so peaceful, the way it beat me. Sending pleasurable chills down my spine, like a battle, one that didn't matter to win. Suddenly, I felt a ki flicker below. I immediately looked down only to see nothing. I searched, squinting, prepared to send a blow to the intruder. Still spotting nothing I swept down upon the city and landed in the street.  
  
I looked around me, at the broken buildings screaming of abandonment. Dirt and cobwebs lined the wood, caking the buildings barely able to protect from rain. My trained eyes scanned the buildings, until a shadow flickered. My eyes narrowed.  
  
"Who's there? Show yourself!" I shouted, trying to wear my confident authority.  
  
Slowly, a shadow began to come forward. The light slowly spilled over the figure revealilng a small, timid girl. Her hair was laced with dirt pulled into pigtails. It was jet black, like the shadow she lived in. Her eyes jumped from me to behind me to me again as if expecting death to be my cape.  
  
My expression transformed to compassion as I took in her tattered form. She looked about my age when I defeated Cell. My heart began racing and my face turned a deep crimson red. What is the matter with me? I just met her?  
  
"Umm..." I began while feeling the back of my head.  
  
I noticed she began to step backwards, so I quickly lowered my arm.  
  
"Hey, its okay." I began. "I'm not going to hurt you, see." I showed her my open palms.  
  
She looked from my offering to me crossly, and narrowed her eyes. I felt a sudden deep pain, for some reason, from her timid being.  
  
"My name's Gohan... what's yours?"  
  
"...Videl."  
  
Videl,... I thought of that name, as if tasting it. I stared for a moment, wondering if it was her ki I felt, until I felt it from behind. That flicker of a ki. I spun around just in time to see a large blue blast flying towards me. I quickly blocked it sending it flying from the city. I heard Videl whimper from behind and scurry away.  
  
"Cell! I know you're there!" I screamed.  
  
That sick laugh. And then the beast. He emerged, green and spotted darker green... his own plague. He creeped over the rubble hissing deep, licking his lips.  
  
"Mmm... I can sense your ki. I will enjoy this... meal." Cell hissed in that disgusting tone.  
  
I felt the anger rise as I remembered what he did. As I remembered... my father...  
  
I screamed as the anger released. I felt it flow through me until it illuminated me. My hair stood on end, a golden flame. And then I attacked him, with a flury of kicks and punches. He blocked them easily with just one hand. In my fury, I didn't even realize...  
  
I lept back and powered up a bit more, concentrating it into a single ball of energy. "Ka-me-ha-me-HA!" It flew from me, a piece of me, right at Cell. He stood smugly staring it down, and flicked it away like a bug. My anger rose more. He is mocking me!!  
  
I stood as he looked down upon me smirking. He held up a hand and sent a blast towards me, a blue beam flowing smoothly from his palm. I held up a block, facing my destiny head on. It knocked me back, but I held my stanze. It felt like fire on my arms, and I howled in fury. Gritting my teeth, I concentrated solely on the pain, fighting it. Until I reallized... I couldn't block it! The blast exploded in front of me knocking me across the street. I collided with a wall, another one, and landed in the rubble... under the broken roof, in the broken building, of the broken city.  
  
Cell appeared ontop of the rubble. He smirked sickly and licked his lips once more as if tasting his victory.  
  
"Yes... you may be weak, but soon you will... be of use..."  
  
My mind flipped this over, he doesn't have a tail since he absorbed the androids so how can he make a meal... he's going to eat me! My eyes widened as he held up his palm, a ball of energy began to form at the end. And then a crash, and Cell fell forward! I sucked in deep, not quite realizing what happened. Cell was rubbing his head, cursing, and then I saw Videl with stones in her hand.  
  
"How-dare-you! You insulent... you will pay for your insubordination." Cell hissed.  
  
Videl's face fell from confidence. She began backing up slowly, dropping the stones. Just like my friends. Every time they need me...  
  
The fury filled me again, and I powered up sending the rocks off of my body. I rose and flew towards Cell, and crammed my fist deep into his gut. He fell forward, slowly, at an odd slow pace. I could see the surprise slowly fading to rage, into a twisted rage,...  
  
Then I heard Gloria scream in my head-"Get out! Now! You aren't ready yet!" I looked for her. Not able to place her. "NOW!!" I ignored her, powering up for another hit. But then I remembered last time... quickly, I grabbed Videl's hand. She gasped, a bit surprised, but I pulled her to my chest, protectively, and wrapped her arms around me. And off we flew. Away from the brokenness... as Cell choked on his vomit.  
  
__________  
  
We landed on the waterside outlooking the ocean. Videl dropped to her knees seeming to appreciate the land. It was strange, I couldn't help but stare.  
  
She watched me out the corner of her eyes, still timidly. I sat beside her, looking out across the ocean.  
  
"So.. do you live there?" I asked, curious.  
  
"Hmm? Oh, that building... I don't have a home, I mean, since my dad..." She looked down to the ground. "And my mom too."  
  
"I'm sorry. My dad is too."  
  
"Cell..." she whispered clenching her fist. Then she looked at me."I'm sorry. I thought you were one of them. I mean, since you flew."  
  
"Them?" I asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes, Cell and Piccolo. Where have you been? Under a rock?" I stared in shock as she spoke, not believing what I was hearing. "Piccolo just wanted to rule the world, but before Cell arrived he changed his mind. Now all he wants is destruction just like Cell. They teamed up,... sort of."  
  
"No... no..." I said shaking it out of my head. Refusing her words.  
  
"Yes, I know. Unbelievable. We are all damned."  
  
I realized she misunderstood my words, but kept my mouth shut. I looked at her, as she stared at the sunset. How it played over her face. She was so beautiful... like the sunset... only she would never rise again. This,... she seemed so fake. Like she wasn't meant to speak in this tone, or walk in this street. Like she was a... lie.  
  
"I must go." I said.  
  
She looked at me shocked as I stood and turned my back. She rose quickly and stood in front of me, holding her hands out to her side as if to block my escape.  
  
"NO!" she screamed freezing her eyes into a glare.  
  
I hardened my face as well. " I must go. Videl, you can't come. It is too dangerous." I placed my hand on her shoulder, gently, steadying her.  
  
Her face faltered. "But... I will be alone again."  
  
My face faltered as well. "Stay here. There is food in the trees. I will come back for you, I swear it." I lifted her chin to look her in the eyes, showing my sincerity. She seemed satisfied, i guess, because she lowered her arms.  
  
Then I left her, not looking back.  
  
_____  
  
"Gloria... GLORIA!!"  
  
I stood some distance from where I left Videl shouting. I needed an answer.  
  
"What is it Gohan." Gloria answered.  
  
I turned and faced her. I stared her down for a moment, deciding.  
  
"You wish to know of Piccolo? It is true." Gloria said, unmoved. My eyes widened but my face didn't change. "When Piccolo teamed up with Gokuh against Radditz, after he killed your father you weren't there to change his heart. It was unsatisfying to him, so after Vejita was over with he seeked to satisfy himself,... through blood. He forced Kami to fuse with him, and no, he isn't teamed with Cell. They would love to kill each other. Piccolo is so much stronger than he is in your existence, strong through hate... and so is Cell from absorbing more life than in your existence..."  
  
I continued to stare her down, the source of my problems, the root of it. "I don't believe you."  
  
"It doesn't matter if you do or don't Gohan, but right now, with your rage which ISN'T your source of power, you can't defeat Cell."  
  
"I... don't...BELIEVE...you." I repeated slowly filling every word with spite. "Why am I hear, what is this for!"  
  
She continued to be unmoved. "I am merely a handmaid of my Master. You are here to discover for yourself. Tell me Gohan, are you afraid you can't protect her? Videl? Bulma?"  
  
My eyes widened and my face fell. As she continued to speak. "You wish to see for yourself if Piccolo is who he is. If he is a lie like Videl. People are mold. It is too bad the wrong hands held the clay... so go see for yourself Gohan. Go."  
  
"No." I answered. "I don't need to. I know you are lying. I'll just collect the dragon balls and wish myself back."  
  
"You can't. Dende never came to earth. Piccolo forced Kami into fusion, and you weren't here to bring Dende to earth, since you are the reason he came."  
  
I stared shocked, and pulled out the dragon radar. I clicked it searching franticly- nothing.  
  
I stared back at her spitefully. "Then why'd you give me this?"  
  
She smirked. "Because you desired one."  
  
"Then bring me back! I desire to go back!"  
  
"That is not within my power. Now go. And see for yourself just who molded Piccolo into being."  
  
A/N: Like I said before, this is hard to write. I hope it is good... so who will Piccolo be? Can Gohan protect Videl? How about Bulma? And how will he fix this? Does it lie in Cell's defeat? And why is Gohan older than he should be? And what is Gloria? Find out soon... or later! 


	4. Chapter4-Molded Into Image

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or its characters. I am just boring them for my fanfic. I can only dream of owning them, so please don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.(did anyone just notice I misspelled borrowing as boring? I didn't til now!!)  
  
A/N: My apologies for this taking so long to write, I was super busy and on top of this had no idea what to write! I apologize to Saxplayr88 personaly because he wrote me twice asking for it to be updated. Sorry, but this is hard to write. Now on with the show!  
  
Chapter 4- Molded Into Image  
  
I flew towards Piccolo's ki in the distance. I flipped the present situation over in my head. And it kept falling back to that girl with jet black hair pulled back into pigtails...  
  
I stopped overhead at the same city I just left. I could sense Piccolo down below, what is he doing in the city? Piccolo never visits the city. And his ki was different somehow... he seemed a bit agitated and darted his eyes about as if he was looking for something.  
  
I saw a ki blast fly past him, he blocked it with ease. Cell! Yes, there he was, flying towards Piccolo from a pile of rubble. Cell attacked him with a flury of kicks and punches. Piccolo blocked everyone. Then Piccolo lept back and thrusted his arm at him. It lengthened and flew past Cell. Cell came at him, but Piccolo had grabbed a metal beam with his lengthened arm and used it to bash Cell against the head.  
  
I blinked a bit surprised, my heart was racing. I suppose I remember how much more powerful Cell was than Piccolo, and now here was Piccolo, as strong as Cell, and winning! I suddenly felt a strong urge to help Piccolo but resisted. I knew how Piccolo felt about honor, and mostly about interfering with his training or fights.  
  
I watched proudly as Piccolo continued to dominate with his supperb technique. He was so polished, must've been training religiously. I spotted Cell hiding a ka-me-ha-me-ha wave behind his back and firing it at him as Piccolo came in for a jab, I sucked in deep not sure if Piccolo saw this. Piccolo blocked it with his left hand and continued with the jab, which Cell blocked as well. I exhaled relieved... and held my breath once again when I realized where the fight had led- Capsule Corp.  
  
I remembered how many homeless there had been. Would if a child or someone...? My mind began to race. Why wasn't Piccolo leading Cell away from the city? No. Gloria isn't right. She isn't right. She isn't right. No. I considered interrupting the fight then threw it out. Piccolo would be offended. And just look at him. He is in complete control. My first master, the first to train me. Yes, he knows what he is doing.  
  
I watched as Piccolo round house kicked him in the head and countered with a left, a right, then another left. Cell grunted as he backed up covering his head with his arms. Piccolo eased up as he lept back and stood erect, staring Cell down with a smirk. In complete control, Piccolo is doing great. Just look at him. How could Gloria question his honor?  
  
Cell lowered his arms and said something. I couldn't hear them so I dropped onto a nearby roof. I crawled forward and hid behind the ledge. I could hear them now, Cell was laughing!! I furrowed my brows in confusion, was he mad? Then I saw Cell look to his right. I followed his eyes... to see a small child crouched behind a rock. Cell held out his arm and threw a ki blast at her.  
  
I tensed up about to leap out at it, when I saw a quick flicker of light. The blast hit the bolder smashing it into pieces. It echoed through the city like a firecracker. I blinked and heard a sob. I looked to see the child hanging in Piccolo's arms, and Piccolo in the same spot.  
  
I heard Cell growl deeply as he began darting his eyes to his left.  
  
"Hmph. Not having any fun Cell? This is my city, all of them are. My planet." Piccolo growled.  
  
Cell just laughed. "Wrong namek. This WAS your city, all of them WAS."  
  
Cell began laughing ,but stopped when Piccolo joined in. "Just like you're about to be WAS."  
  
Cell frowned deeply, but smirked. Before I couldn't blink a bright light filled my eyes. I screamed as I shielded my eyes. Tien's Solar Flare. Damn it! Sometimes I wish he didn't invent that. My eyes burned deeply like fire, then slowly faded to a blur. I looked down to see Piccolo rubbing his eyes as well, and Cell gone...  
  
But still, joy filled me to a breaking point. Piccolo is good! Gloria was wrong! I couldn't contain myself any longer. I couldn't wait to throw my arms around Piccolo no matter how much he hated it.  
  
I lept down the building top laughing and ran up to Piccolo. He spun around surprised and went into a fighting stanze. I ignored him continueing to run towards him but stopped when he let out a threatening growl.  
  
Then I remembered, he didn't know me. I wasn't born. A deep pain hit me, but then I remembered my father, and it left me.  
  
I smiled. "Hi. My name's Gohan... I ummm, saw you fight. You were good, NO! You were great!"  
  
Piccolo shifted from his stanze, stared at me and grunted. "You're in luck. I'm in a good mood. Beat it kid. Go home to your mother."  
  
Another stabbing pain hit me. My mother... "I'd like to train with you if it's okay." I said still smiling. "I'm a really fast learner. I swear it!" Imagine, training with Piccolo again like the first time... a second chance.  
  
Piccolo growled. "What do I look like kid? A babysitter? I said beat it!"  
  
"But..." I muttered stunned. I heard a choked sob and darted my eyes to the child. Then I smiled knowing how to soften Piccolo a bit. "I'm sure her mother's worried. She'll be glad to see how you helped her-"  
  
My smile faded when I heard a sick, twisted laugh escape Piccolo's mouth. It seemed in slow motion, as Piccolo threw the child to his side, and let out a small ki blast aimed at the child. It hit her, straight through. A high-pitched, blood-curdling shriek pierced the air. As her body twisted and plopped onto the ground. She laid there, bleeding. Blood spilling freely onto the ground wrapping around her as if she is an island. And Piccolo just laughed.  
  
"My city, my people, to kill as I wish. My planet." Piccolo said simply, as if the words were nothing. As if killing was nothing. "Now beat it kid, before I change my mind."  
  
I watched him speachless as he turned swiftly, his cape billowing in the stillness of the air. I watched as he walked from the street about to take flight, then I found what I wanted to say, had to say... "Who molded you..."  
  
Piccolo halted glancing over his shoulder. "I control my life kid, don't you EVER forget that." Then he shot into the air like a canyon. And I watched again as I had before, until I saw him no longer.  
  
I control my life kid, don't you ever forget that...I control my life...I control life...control...  
  
I looked towards Capsule Corp. and pictured Bulma holding Trunks rocking to and fro, to and fro... before I realized it my feet had taken me into Capsule Corp. I walked down the stairs and into the room. And there was Bulma has I remembered her. Except she was asleep, holding Trunks who was sound asleep.  
  
She wore tear stained cheeks, and her face was deathly pale. I could swear I still heard Vejita's name in the air, and then I realized she was whispering it in her sleep. It made me wonder if Vejita ever knew how much... how much she loved him. I touched her face and stroked it. She was hot, deathly hot. A fever maybe. And Trunks was pale too.  
  
I sucked in deep. She can't stay here. I scooped her up in my arms and began towards the door.  
  
________  
  
I landed right back at the pond down next to the eager Videl. She ran towards me at once, and then slowed at the sight of the woman and child. She narrowed her eyes at once, and i read them.  
  
"NO! No... they're friends, nothing more!" I said quickly blushing deep.  
  
She smirked. "You're blushing. Ooooohh!"  
  
My blush became worse as I set them down. Motioning I began speaking.  
  
"They're sick. I umm need you to care for them while I-"  
  
"I am not a maid!" Videl snapped at once. "You think you can just abandon me and I'll-"  
  
She stopped as she saw the desperate look in my eye.  
  
"They're really sick, Videl. I don't think they have long... I'm sorry. I will make it up to you I promise."  
  
I locked my eyes with her and looked into them deeply to convey my message, she nodded in agreement.  
  
We then laid them both out flat, side-by-side. I set up the baby bag which I placed the formula in before leaving along with supplies. And I built a fire and stored up wood. We then got a bucket and rags and placed them onto their foreheads.  
  
Bulma moaned deeply as Trunks pouted, they were both so weak...  
  
"Yes, a lot of people in the city came down with this. My neighbors died from it, I mean, the ones Cell didn't get..." Videl told me while we set up camp"... It is wide spread."  
  
Then I thought about it. Would if my mother...  
  
________  
  
I landed a short distance away from the camp seething with a new rage.  
  
"GLORIA!!!" I shouted over the field.  
  
I felt her presence and spun around. I looked into her innocent face and immediately felt a new rage surge forward.  
  
"Yes Gohan?" She asked simply, plainly.  
  
"I want to go home!" I demanded.  
  
"I am simply a handmaid, it is not within my power to-"  
  
"DAMN IT!! I don't want that bull shit! I want to go home!! NOW!"  
  
Gloria looked into my eyes. "And what do you think it will take?"  
  
Shock entered my face for a moment. Then I said sternly. "To kill Cell. To hurt him. Bad."  
  
"And that will make this go away? What you feel?" She asked plainly, and I nodded. "So be it. Here is the Cell you know from your existence. Do to him as you wish."  
  
She waved her hand and instantly the Cell I knew appeared. The one I killed in my existence. I saw him and was stunned, but the rage soon changed that.  
  
I was upon him at once in a flury of punches. He blocked them at first, but soon I was moving at the speed of my mind and I consumed him. I saw nothing but the color of blood, my father's blood.... I ripped him, jumped back and slashed him with my ka-me-ha-me-ha wave, then blast after blast after blast. I saw it rip through, spilling his blood, ...like the child's blood... and I lashed out again, a kick, a punch, kick, punch, punch, punch, it coarsed pleasure through me, seared pain, and then I felt a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"He's dead." the whisper sounded distant, but it slowly hit me.  
  
I stared at Cell's body, it was below me, bloody, like an island in a sea of blood, and his face was distorted in anguish, water seemed to be pouring on him from me. Must be sweat, yes, I'm covered in sweat. Then I blinked and whiped my face. I was crying... I lowered my hand and smelt it. Blood. A sharp coppery scent. It felt warm. I stared at it. At my hand. It was drenched in his blood. It caked the crevices of my hand staining it... with Cell's blood... and then I looked at Cell, at his mangled body wrenched in an odd sickly position, and I sobbed... I fell onto his mangled body and sobbed, convulsed in tears...  
  
A/N: So hard to write, but hope you enjoyed it. So, what will happen to sick Bulma and Trunks? Can they be saved? And what about Chi Chi? And can Gohan change Piccolo? And his new world? And can he kill the Cell in this time like he did the one in his (the Cell he just killed is the one Gloria brought to this time from time when Gohan was born, it isn't one in Gohan's non-existence)? And can he protect Videl? Find out! 


	5. Chapter5-Because I Am Unborne

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or its characters. I am just borrowing them for my fanfic. I can only dream of owning them, so please don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.  
A/N: Fanfic is giving me a bit of trouble, I am having difficulty logging in and uploading, so... but enough about that! My computer crashed and is still crashed, doing this at school computer, but enough said. I present to you the story. Another Note: if sensitive bout rape, don't read.  
  
Chapter 5- Because I Am Unborne  
  
Piccolo searched the mountainous area outside the city feeling Cell's ki.  
  
"I know you're down there Cell, you can't hide forever." Piccolo thought to himself with a growl.  
  
Finally he spotted him hiding behind the rock nursing a wound, unaware of his presence. Piccolo grinned and swooped down, landing right next to Cell. Shocked at first, Cell quickly regained composure and lept to his feet with a hiss.  
  
"You... how dare you disturb my rest." Cell growled as he spat on the ground.  
  
Piccolo made a disgusted face. "Look at you. You're a disgrace. Look at how you crawl in the shadows, have you no honor." Cell hissed again and moved into a deep stanze ready to attack. Piccolo smirked. "I considered your offer..." At Cell's raised brow he continued. "We would make a KILLER team, wouldn't we?" Then Piccolo's voice harshened. "And I will accept when you regain your dignity! I will NOT have a coward at my right hand."  
  
Cell hissed again seeming agitated. "And I won't have insubordination from my right hand! NOW... one thing clear, I don't live in the shadows. But enough of this, let's celebrate."  
  
Piccolo growled. "Insubordination..." he thought to himself as he spat to his side. "Cell is this dirt I spit on."  
  
Cell noticed is scowl, and seemed to begin to contemplate a plan. "How about YOU choose the celebration, Namek?"  
  
"My name is Piccolo." He corrected him, as he began to think. Cell continued,"What would please you to destroy?... Perhaps a mortal enemy?..." Gokuh immediately popped into Piccolo's mind, but he is dead with a widowed-  
  
"We will visit Son Gokuh's home." Piccolo confirmed, and then his smirk widened. "I am sure his widow is lonely, and would appreciate the company."  
  
_________  
  
Gohan sat slumped against the tree staring at his hands, which he had scrubbed clean of blood, as Videl whiped down Bulma and Trunk's foreheads with a hot rag.  
  
Videl paused to look at Gohan. She saw how oblivious he was to the surroundings, so she crawled up to him and stared into his glassy eyes. Videl climbed into his lap and placed her hands on each side of his face and raised his eyes to meet hers. Gohan was oblivious at first but snapped back into reality at the sight of her eyes. She stared deeply into them, a small child into a young adults, and smiled sweetly through her eyes into his.  
  
"You can't go on like this." Videl said simply.  
  
I blinked surprised at this remark. Here is a mere child, telling me how strong I am!  
  
"I will go on for as long as it takes." I said staring back into her eyes, a bit harshly now.  
  
Videl merely looked at me, and scowled. "Your friends need you! This is selfish, what are you doing." I scowled back. Then her next comment caught me off guard. "What are you thinking?"  
  
My face calmed. "What do you mean?" I said innocently.  
  
"Don't play games with me, Gohan! You were zombied out, you must've been thinking something!"  
  
"..." I stared back down at my hands, but she forced my face up to hers. "I-..I was thinking about... the future battle. With Cell."  
  
She seemed satisfied with that, because she softened her grip on my cheeks. I stared into her eyes, how I loved her eyes. They were strong, but gentle. Like my mom's. My mom's eyes... I knew Videl was a good person. But she seemed such a lie. Like she should be someone different, someone I once knew who had been remolded... like Piccolo. She is an angel, such an angel. I watched the angel as she left my lap and began tending to my friends with gentle caring strokes.  
  
I looked back to my hands. How can I fight evil if my hands are as stained as theirs?... I can't, I can't, I can't,... then mother popped back into my mind. How I missed her, but I can never return, because she doesn't know me... doesn't know who I was,... and never will.... because I am unborne... slowly, slowly, I drifted off into slumber...  
________  
  
And there was mother, at the table, preparing supper for two. The second plate remained empy, like the chair across from hers, because he was never returning. She placed a simple meal on hers, and began to eat, when a knock sounded.   
  
Mother rose and walked across the room, pausing ever so slightly to run her fingertips over his chair, and she walked to the door. She opened it, the door being so heavy for years of work worn her weary.  
  
It slowly opened to reveal Piccolo and Cell. Her face filled with shock, as Piccolo forced the door open the rest of the way. He threw her to the wall and sqeezed her breasts as mother screamed, as she screamed my father's dead name. This seemed to further anger Piccolo, as he ripped off her shirt, holding her arms above her head, as she thrashed and thrashed and cried out his name...  
  
Cell watched as he laughed that sick laugh, and pulled out a kitched knife, he grabbed mother's arm and cut thin cuts with it, licking her blood from her arm.-"I love your fucking taste, you taste so fucking good, just like your husband tasted so fucking good, I loved his blood, you must taste her Piccolo, she is delicious." Mother was sobbing now, sobbing into convulsions as her voice, hoarse, gasped his name. She shook. She shook with fright all through the convulsions.  
  
Piccolo just smirked, and knocked the food from the table, and I watched father's plate break,... along with mother's. He threw her onto the table as she tried to scream, but no sound came out... He reached between her thighs and ripped off the panties, and then shoved his head between her thighs. Mother's face was wet now, drenched in tears. And it was so pale, she seemed faded, like a ghost to me. Just a ghost. Her eyes were shadowed grey, a pale, silverish grey.  
  
Mother gasped, trying to cry out a frightened scream, as Piccolo sucked deep. He snaked her tongue around her woman hood moaning.-"Cum you fucking whore, cum." He hissed as he continued sucking. Then he growled deeply as he greedily began lapping her up.-"You are right, she does taste so fucking good. I can see why Son Gokuh enjoyed fucking you, every night, fucking you."  
  
Piccolo raised up and wrapped his hands around mother's neck. Strangely, she wasn't crying anymore. She stared passively at him. I will never erase the look in her eyes, she was already dead. She looked at Piccolo, she looked at him as if he was just a memory.-"Kill me, just kill me." My mother begged in a passive voice. The two intruders smirked at each other. Cell held up a ki blast, but Piccolo stopped him.-"Wait! We must preserve her body..." Cell laughed sickly in agreement as Piccolo tightened the grip around her kneck.  
  
My mother gasped vainly, in a weak, so weak, manner. The vains in her face began protruding as her eyes began to bulge, bloodshot. Her face paled as it turned odd, unnatural colors. She raised her hands to his and dug in creating purple blooddroplets arounds her grasp. She was cold, so cold... as the last choked breath escaped her lips, and I swear I could hear my name on it... and her eyes, her placid stare, rolled into her head... and he let go, dropping her like a disease, and began licking her fucking corpse all down to her sweet, sweet left over juices... YOU TASTE SO FUCKING GOOD I CAN SEE WHY SON GOKUH ENJOYED FUCKING-  
  
_______  
  
I woke up in a cold sweat gasping for air, sucking it in greedily. It was dark out, and I was relieved, gratious even, for the blanket of shadows. I choked back a sob as I whiped the tears away, and then I looked over to my three companions. Videl slept peacefully beside Bulma and Trunks, I could see there chests rising slowly with their breaths, so I lept into the air. To my mother's house.  
  
I flew quickly, in a blur, and in seconds was on the doorstep. I saw the door open to a crack, and my heart quickened... to a shatter when I pushed it open.  
  
Lying nude with cuts covering the body was mother. Her eyes, completely white, stared at me, bulging, with veins pushing against her face's skin. I slowly walked across the room to her, and clasped her hand. I didn't even notice my tears spilling, as I pressed her cold, clammy skin of her hand into my hands. I stared at her, at the placid look on her face. KILL ME, PLEASE KILL ME... she begged to die,... like me... she begged for it and now she is gone. And I never got to say...  
  
"I am sorry mom. I am so sorry. I am always being rescued, like with Radditz, Piccolo rescued me, father rescued me from him with his life, I am always being rescued, and I can't even protect my own mother..." I began sobbing uncontrollably. "Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me please, I love you, I always have, and now you are gone and I ca-can't say, I love you so much, and now I can't hold you..." I looked down from her white ghostly eyes to her cold hand "... not like this...I-I just wanted father and you to be alive, happy, and now you are both dead! I am so, so sorry," I felt rage rise to the surface, a blinding rage, "I swear mother, I will avenge your death, and father's death, I swear it on my family's name."  
  
And what do you think it will take? I could hear Gloria's words echo throughout my mind.  
  
"To avenge their death, and clean my family's name from this, this shame that Cell and Piccolo have brought"...that I have brought...  
  
A/N: Heh-heh... I am getting a bit better at this story. So will Gohan really kill his mentor? And what about Bulma and Trunks? Will they die from the illness? And how about Videl? And what's up with Gloria? *I am going to reveal that soon! So find out next time! 


	6. Chapter6Stolen Sanity

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or its characters. I am just borrowing them for my fanfic. I can only dream of owning them, so please don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.  
  
A/N: Yes, I am back. My computer crashed and we got a new one finally. Without further babbling, here is why all of you are here, the stories!  
  
Chapter 6- Stolen Sanity  
  
I, Gohan, landed on the soft land next to the lake. I carried in my arms a small capsule from Capsule Corp., which I quickly threw onto the ground. In a puff of smoke, a small lab appeared; with tons of chemicals and strange instruments only Bulma would recognize.  
  
I then began to walk towards the weakened Bulma who layed on the ground under the tree. I hope I got everything she would need... I hope she is strong enough... she seemed to be laying there toying with a puzzle box.  
  
"Bulma, i need your help." I said, my voice echoing over the glassy lake. "I need you to help me kill Cell."  
  
With the mention of Cell's name, she jolted up stopping what she was doing. I noticed that she hadn't been doing anything at all, just clicking the colors back and forth, red to green-green to red-red to green, one step towards solving the puzzle-one step back-a step forward then back. She then seemed to stare far away, to something that wasn't even there.  
  
"Vejita." She answered. "Vejita can help you. I can't. I can't do anything at all."  
  
She then started clicking the puzzle box again monotonously, convinced she was producing results.  
  
"No Bulma. Vejita can't help me. I need you." I said confidently, but she just shook her head. Frustrated, I jerked her towards me. "Look at me! I need you!"  
  
Bulma squeeled, and seemed to become limp in my grasp. "Don't hurt me! Vejita! Vejita!"  
  
"Vejita's dead!" I screamed.  
  
She immeditately fell silent, and she had the most empty look in her eyes. She was distant again, and a pain of guilt hit me. I immediately wish I hadn't done that. But then, buried grief seemed to surface as she realized the truth for the first time.  
  
"Oh, kami.... kami..." She whimpered, as she fell to the floor sobbing.  
  
I looked at her pitifully curled into a ball. "Bulma.."I said, softening my voice. "Bulma, Vejita's death isn't in vain. We can make it right, we can restore honor to his name."  
  
Bulma then whiped the tears from her eyes, and for the first time seemed to regain the old Bulma I remembered. She set herself in determination, hiding the uncontroled shakes of her body.  
  
"Just tell me what needs to be done." She said.  
  
________  
  
Hours later she handed me a concoction. (A/N: I most likely misspelled concoction...sorry)I took the potion from her trembling hands. She seemed so placid; her face ghostly pale, eyes deep and hollow, like a spirit from another time. The skin clung to her face etching her skull perfectly.  
  
"All you have to do... is get him... to swallow..it." She said, gasping for air.  
  
I helped her lie down on the ground. "Rest now Bulma, you played your part. Thankyou."  
  
She smiled at me weakly. "You can thank me by killing that bastard." She said bitterly.  
  
It was then that Videl made her presence known. She gave me a look, one which stole any words she could've said: How can you put your vengence above the well being of your friend? with that look I turned away to Bulma. She needed this, more than me. She needed some sanity.  
  
It was then that I realized...  
  
Videl pushed me aside, applying a cold, wet handkerchief to her face trying to cool her off. Bulma stared blankly onward, in a daze. She gasped for hair sweating horribly, shaking violently- as violent as the words she spat, which were incoherent. She grasped onto Videl's hand, her nails dug into the skin, but Videl didn't scream. Suddenly, I noticed there were tears in their eyes, both of their eyes- But why would Videl cry? She didn't even know Bulma?  
  
Bulma forced a breath, shakily, painfully. Her chest rose and fell, rose and fell... Videl breathed with her, perfectly nsync with her, as if she could force the air into Bulma's lungs. And when Bulma held her breath so did she,.. she held it waiting for Bulma to exhale, anticipating her life. Suddenly I felt panic hit me,  
  
"Videl! Videl!" I screamed. But she ignored me. I leaned over and slapt her back forcing the air out of her lungs, which was followed by a sharp breath, one which whistled when she inhaled.  
  
Videl coughed and gagged, but her syncrosy with Bulma was ruined. Her body layed there, like an empty box waiting to be filled... filled with a life she lost long ago.  
  
Videl began to cry uncontrollably. I couldn't stand it any longer! I rose and began to walk away.  
  
"Where are you going NOW!" She screamed.  
  
"To kill Cell."  
  
With that she jumped up and began to follow.  
  
I spun around quickly. "NO! YOU ARE STAYING HERE!" I screamed, expecting her to shrink away. But she didn't. She advanced on me moreso.  
  
"I am going with you." She stated firmly. "Give me one good reason why not."  
  
I stated simply. "You need to take care of Trunks."  
  
"He's dead." She gave me time for the shock to set in. "If you weren't so wrapped up in your revenge you would've noticed. You would've noticed how Bulma convulsed while she mixed the potion."  
  
I swallowed my words. I couldn't tell her- I couldn't tell her I wasn't strong enough to defeat him, that I needed poison to finish him. A special potion designed to decompose his cells while he is alive.  
  
I spat back venamously, tired of holding the bitterness in. "And what do you care? You didn't even know her." I held it in still, held back the tears.  
  
But she exploded. "What do I care? WHAT DO I CARE!! You were off fighting, you didn't have to watch her, hear her words, watch her slowly die. You saw her die, but you missed the beginning! She began the second you left her hear. You didn't have to listen to her BEGGING for this Vejita, you didn't have to watch her shake, listen to her moan, her rantings, her vomiting- vomiting blood, how her body curled, and how she cried... when she-she drowned her child..."  
  
With that Videl began sobbing uncontrolably. "She... couldn't stand...she thought.. she... thought... he was her.. dead husband..."  
  
I felt the guilt again as it fell back. I killed another friend, and another, just like father. just like him.  
  
It was then that I sensed a flicker of a ki, and it was close. Dangerously close.  
  
I spun around facing the ki. It came from the mountains, the three mountains side by side, and they were plainly within view.  
  
"I must go. Stay here." I said with my back turned.  
  
And with that I shot into the air before Videl could protest, leaving her crying. The guilt surged through me like a tidal wave, it felt like vomit in the back of my throat. But I swallowed it, I stomached it. What else could I do? Besides, the true root layed on Cell, and I was ready to throw my wrath upon him.  
  
I imagined what it would feel like to watch his body decompose in front of me. A surge of pleasure rushed through me as I pictured his body decapitating itself... and then I saw the blood upon my hands from before, when Gloria allowed me to kill the Cell from my time again. I shivered, shaking off the memory.  
  
Then I decided, despite all, Cell must die. For my mom whom he killed, for my father, for Vejita, for Bulma whom he drove insane, and the baby Trunks she killed from it- it being as much Cell's fault, and for the about eleven year old Videl... Cell must die.  
  
A/N: Again I apologize for my leap of absence, I hope this chapter makes up for it. So, Gohan is finally clashing with Cell, and with a secret weapon! But will it work? and what about Piccolo, will he end up killing him too? And will Videl wait, or will she try to follow? And can he protect her from Cell? Find out! 


	7. Chapter7Killing My Reflection

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or its characters. I am just borrowing them for my fanfic. I can only dream of owning them, so please don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.  
  
A/N: I have contemplated upgrading my rating from a pg-13 to an r due to a past chapter, and I have decided to do so at the suggestion as a fan as well. Now, on with the show!  
  
Chapter 7- Killing My Reflection  
  
I landed on the mountain which held the mysterious ki and immediately began searching for him. I tried my hardest to concentrate on it, trying to place who it belonged to... it seemed so familiar... then my eyes fell on the ki's owner- Piccolo!  
  
I gasped for a second, catching my breath, but then I remembered my mother- my blood instantly boiled. Piccolo just grinned and stepped to the side revealing Cell behind him. He seemed to have chosen to let Cell fight first.  
  
Cell hissed at me, remembering the fight before. "So you have decided to return, boy." He then laughed sickly. "How unfortunate... your under- evolved mind can not conceive that I am perfect and you are therefore disposable."  
  
I just smirked, remembering the serum in my pocket. All I have to do is get him to ingest it, and then-  
  
But before I could think Piccolo had lunged at me with a punch. I quickly dogged it- what is going on? I was going to fight Cell!  
  
Piccolo spun behind me and thrusted a back-kick into me. It collided deep into my ribs. I fell to the stony mountain floor gasping for air, the wind nocked out of my lungs. I clutched my side feeling the environment inside of my head spinning. Piccolo wasn't this strong, he isn't stronger than me. What is going on?- I could then hear Gloria inside of my mind whispering telepathically "This isn't your world, you were never born. Piccolo is the strongest in this world- Cell second."  
  
My mind slowly began to clear as Piccolo's laugh rumbled over me. I climbed to my feet to face him. He smirked sickly. I began taking in my surroundings searching for an advantage: I was on a high mountain, over the edge are sharp, deadly stones, and there are a few trees towards the center of the mountain with a pit in the middle of them. How can I use this to my advantage? I know this mountain from my world.  
  
I didn't have much time to think when Piccolo advanced on me with a flury of punches. I dodged each of them and round-house kicked him in his back. Piccolo grunted, flying towards the woods. He spun around to face me as I came towards him full speed. Piccolo erected his body ready to catch whatever I may throw at him, but to his disappointment I lunged at his feet sliding beneath him.  
  
Piccolo turned in shock, curious as to what I was doing, but all he saw was my shadow moving into the thin woods.  
  
Piccolo chuckled a bit. "So you won't to play hide-and-seek? I have no time for your childish games, but as you wish." He began walking towards the woods. "Suppressing your ki won't save you... It merely delays the inevitable."  
  
I pressed my back against the tree as I stared down from its top, hidden in its leaves. I watched as Piccolo slowly wondered into the woods searching cautiously. My eyes wondered from him to the pit... and I gently tossed a stick into it.  
  
The stick hit the pits side and began skipping down it, causing chimes to echo off of the stones. Piccolo's head snapped towards the pit, and a smile spread over his lips. He began his trip towards the pit, gliding easily over the ground.  
  
As he grew closer and closer...my muscles tightened with anticipation. Closer...closer... NOW!! I lept from the tree as he stepped to the ledge and tackled him from behind. Piccolo grunted loudly, the air being knocked from his lungs. Then he screamed- a gasped, forced, chocked scream from the lack of air- as he began to fall down into the pit, me with him.  
  
Our bodies lashed against the sides of the rocks. Piccolo fought hard trying to free his grip and fly away, but I wouldn't let him. I dug my fingers deep into his eye socket focusing on causing him as much pain as he could- like the pain I felt from the rocks digging into my skin!  
  
We began to fall faster as we were knocked into the center of the pit, now we just free fell...deeper and deeper into the abyss. But still I wouldn't let him free from my grip. Not until we hit the bottom.  
  
"ARE YOU CRAZY BOY! THIS PIT GOES ALMOST TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!" Piccolo shrieked trying to break free.  
  
Almost, I thought, It almost goes there. I can survive a little heat. I then proceeded to thrust my fingers into his eye socket deeper. The feel of his warm blood sent chills down my spine, a little deeper, a little fucking deeper, until you can SMELL his blood.  
  
"Now you will only be able to see my mother's fucking clit in your dreams." I spat venomously into his ear.  
  
With that, Piccolo shrieked again and broke his arm free. He opened his hand, revealing his sharp claws, and he dug it deep into my gut. I bellowed, feeling his fingers slowly digging for my stomach.  
  
I then thought to myself, Do unto others as they have done unto you, so I pulled my fingers out of his eye, hanging onto his arm with my other hand. With my free hand, I waited for him to open his mouth.  
  
It wasn't long before he did, he didn't even get a word out. I shoved my hand into his mouth and down his esophagus, and then grabbed hold of his tongue. I jerked it- hard- ripping it from his mouth. Piccolo could only gag choking on his blood, gasping for air.  
  
I grinned as shivers of pleasure rushed through me while gurgling sounds continued to rise from his mouth. The blood flowed freely from his lips... it seemed so true, so honest, to have vile liquids flowing from his lips.  
  
I then said in a low, bitter voice, "Now you can only lick her fucking clit in your dreams, you fucking bitch, you bakayarou. How does it feel? To have the taste of blood instead of fucking cum? WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING GO?"  
  
I felt the words flow from my lips, without any thought or plan. "You're not Piccolo, he would never do such a thing. He would never treat me like you do."  
  
It was then that a deeper gurgle came from the back of his throat, and it sounded like he tried to say "You're not Gohan, he would never treat me like you do" But I can't be sure, he could've been trying to scream or just gasping for air.  
  
In his dreams, only in his dreams now can he... then I felt the desire to rip out his brains, but I didn't even have the chance.  
  
Without warning, without my consent, we collided with the floor. A deafening crash rattled the walls as the earth sank in a bit to for a crator, luckily I landed on top. I blinked a bit at first, as I looked down to see Piccolo buried deep into the earth, with his cranium split open allowing his brains to ooze freely onto the ground.  
  
I rose and stood over him, superior in this battle. A state of ecstasy washed over me- my mother half way avenged, Bulma too, and the others... my father as well.  
  
But then the ecstasy left me, and a deep stab entered my heart. I couldn't figure out why, but then I realized. I stared down at my victim, Piccolo's eyes stared back to me with bloody socket, empty. He just stared at me, accusing me. Like I just did some horrible crime to him when he is the bad guy! I looked down at my hands, his blood covered them imbedded deep into the crevices of my palms. So how do you feel now? Deep down, I felt myself tremble.  
  
The sharp smell of his blood, the coppery stench which filled this hole. He seemed so peaceful... as peaceful as a riot in the streets. His face so twisted in agony, eyes so placid and clear- like a mirror, I could see myself in them, lose myself in them, cast into it my shadow... I blinked and realized that his eyes were gouged out. Only empty, blood-soaked sockets filled his eyes... completely void,- a perfect reflection.  
  
I turned and looked up, far away above me I could see a light at the end of this tunnel, but the climb is so great even if I fly. And in my head I could still see my stained palms. How can I fly when my shadow is lying on the ground dead behind me? How many more will die because of me?  
  
I counted them easily: Piccolo, the Cell of my time- I remembered how Gloria revived him just so I could kill him, my father, my mother- whom I couldn't protect, Bulma- then I caught myself... I didn't kill her, I didn't, I didn't, no...  
  
The guilt began to bury me as I fell to the ground and dropped my head from the light. How can I climb from here if I can't even stand? I began thinking of Cell and Piccolo, how it felt so good to see them bleed... like I am bleeding inside of me. I am too connected to them to slip away, I am just as stained as they are- I held up my bloody palms to stare at them. I let it burn itself into my mind- a reminder of what I am now. Father,... I am sorry... look at your son now! LOOK at your fucking son RIGHT NOW.  
  
Videl moved her way through the forest slowly picking the webs off of her clothes. She looked up once more at the mountains... and sighed. Which one is it? I can't remember. A deep sense of despair sunk into her as she realized she was lost.  
  
"I am totally lost." She said plopping down.  
  
It was then that a presence washed over her, and she looked up to see a beautiful woman standing before her.  
  
"Who are you? What are you?" she asked amazed.  
  
"My name is Gloria and I am an angel." She said sweetly. "And I am going to help you find Gohan."  
  
Videl stood up cautiously. "How do you know him, and why do you care."  
  
"I mean no harm. I am merely a friend of his, and I know him. I know he needs you now. Will you go to him now?"  
  
Videl looked at her, worried. Gohan needs me? She thought. "Lead the way." Now is my chance to repay him for saving me, for not being a good nurse for his friends...  
  
A/N: Am I not demented? So, you see I have no fear of killing off characters, only four are left: Cell, Gohan, Videl, and Gloria. Now only a few questions remain: what will become of Gohan, is he turning evil? And will Cell live? And finally, what will happen to Videl and Gloria? Can Gohan protect Videl- does he even want to anymore! Find out. 


	8. Chapter8Burned Inside of Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z, I am just borrowing its characters for my fanfic- so don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.  
  
A/N: Sorry I have not updated in so long. I have, to be honest, had writers block and could not think of what to write. But now I am back, so enjoy! We are on one of the last chapters! It ends soon! (applause in back ground) I skipped Videl journeying to the mountain in my fanfic, because in general it is of no importance and boring. So here's the good part! (which is what you guys are only interested in I am sure!) Enjoy & Review!  
  
Chapter 8- Burned Inside of Me  
  
(A/N: This chapter follows a paragraph I wrote in the previous chapter- chapter seven. I have it marked apart by stars when it is mentioned for the sake of my sanity and yours as well.)  
  
*-------------------------------- The guilt began to bury me as I fell to the ground and dropped my head from the light. How can I climb from here if I can't even stand? I began thinking of Cell and Piccolo, how it felt so good to see them bleed... like I am bleeding inside of me. I am too connected to them to slip away, I am just as stained as they are- I held up my bloody palms to stare at them. I let it burn itself into my mind- a reminder of what I am now. Father,... I am sorry... look at your son now! LOOK at your fucking son RIGHT NOW. *---------------------------------  
  
Videl walked silently across the mountain. The sun had descended long ago, and shadows shielded the usual into ghostly figures. She shivered has a breeze whipped by her, tugging at her clothes.  
  
"Gohan? GOHAN!" Videl called. She shivered again as the only response was a whisper of the wind.  
  
Then a shadow moved in the bushes. Videl blinked, squinted leaning forward.  
  
"Gohan. is that you?"  
  
The shadow moved forward, and slowly the moon crawled over the figure revealing the shadow. "No." the shadow whispered in a sly voice ".but soon you will be meeting him."  
  
Videl leaned backward, shrieking in fear. She stumbled over a rock and fell onto her back. The air escaped quickly from her lungs and her vision blurred. In seconds, the silhouette of Cell appeared over her, the full moon in the background.  
  
Videl's eyes widened as they stared into the blackness of Cell's shape. She opened her mouth, but no sound followed. Her mouth just opened and closed like a fishes.  
  
"Are you ready? To meet Gohan. and your Maker?" His smile widened. "Such a lovely night to die, it would be a shame to miss such an opportunity."  
  
Cell reached down for her, and with that motion Videl regained her voice in a single shriek. "GOOOOHAAAAAN!!!!"  
  
My head popped up from the pit I was sitting in. I recognized the voice instantly. It was Videl's. and Cell must have her. ...but who cares? Not like I can save her. I couldn't even save my mother, or Bulma, or Piccolo, or.. my father..  
  
A voice interrupted my thoughts. "So you are just going to end it. Like this?" It was Gloria's.  
  
"Why would you care." I said bluntly.  
  
"Because she is a living person. Because you can save her."  
  
"Like Bulma." I said laughing slightly in a sarcastic manner.  
  
"Mistakes are to be learned from."  
  
I laughed louder now. "Oh, my apologies. You must mean like Piccolo."  
  
Gloria's voice still remained calm and firm. "Mistakes are to be learned from, not repeated."  
  
I turned now and faced her. "I killed him. Just like Cell would have." I screamed gesticulating with my hands. "I FUCKING KILLED HIM!"  
  
"And what makes you any different? Mistakes are to be learned from." She paused. "Life is a journey, and mistakes are evident. How you react to them is what matters. It is honorable to face them head on. So you are going to end it, just like this?"  
  
I smirked, and waved her off with my hands while turning my back to her. I spat bitterly. "So you want me to watch her die, like my father."  
  
Gloria whispered back silently. "Your father would never watch someone die."  
  
I spun around quickly in shock to protest, but she was gone. I blinked, trying to make her reappear, but I was alone again in the dark pit. with Piccolo's corpse not far from me. The darkness of Hell surrounded me, and I looked to my hands again. The blood stained them carefully, marking each crevice delicately, carefully,. considerately.  
  
*The guilt began to bury me as I fell to the ground and dropped my head from the light. How can I climb from here if I can't even stand?*  
  
But I have to stand. Because Videl is all I have left, and I must protect her with my life. I pulled out the poison from my pocket which Bulma made before she died. All I have to do is get this into Cell's bloodstream and it will break Cell down completely. I clenched it in my fist and looked upward. I must save Videl, I just hope I am not too late.  
  
I lept into the air and flew at top speed, as fast as I could. The wind whipped past my face making my hair lash against my skin- I could feel blood drops form where my hair hit. But I didn't care. This is the future, the future is now, and I am not going to let me pass me by like the wind.  
  
Videl gasped for air as she fell to the ground next to the ledge of the cliff. Cell laughed cruelly at the game. He stepped forward cornering her on the ledge. Yes, Videl had been entertaining, and now her bloody eleven- year-old body laid at his feet. Videl wept as the cheek he had hit began to swell along with the rest of her body parts.  
  
"Get up." Cell whispered cruelly. She didn't move. "I said get the fuck up!" Videl crawled to her feet.  
  
"Leave her alone."  
  
Cell turned to the source of intrusion to see me. He smirked. "So you're still alive, Gohan."  
  
I didn't smile. With one leap I flew into battle and slammed my fist into his face. Cell growled and returned the blow. I ducked and stepped forward with a reverse punch. Soon we were haloed by a flury of punches and kicks. Cell growled fiercely with intensity, but I refused to remove my eyes from his. I wanted to see the anger flicker in his, I wanted it to be my strength. I drank from it, indulged myself in it, until my anger boiled past his.  
  
My blocks began easily knocking his arms out of the way. With little effort, I caught his round house kick and slammed my arm down onto his leg breaking it. Cell howled in rage as I dug my fist deep into his stomach making him fall down onto his knees.  
  
"Give it up Cell. You can't win anymore. You're weak." Cell stared up at me spitefully, I stared back into his eyes. "You can't win. Face it Cell, you're losing. And soon you'll be reaping what you've sown."  
  
I stopped. It was then that I noticed, but it was too late. He hadn't been staring at me spitefully, he had been staring behind me. Cell leaped up at me as if to attack, but he jumped clear over my head. I spun around, just in time to see him shove Videl over the edge of the cliff.  
  
Cell turned around. "So are you going to finish the battle, or are you going to rescue her and let me escape?"  
  
I cursed silently already knowing the answer as I ran to the edge of the cliff and jumped over it as well. The cliff was steep, with dangerously pointed spikes at the end, and Videl was plunging fast. But I knew I was fast enough to capture her, besides, I am a-  
  
Then it dawned on me, I wasn't catching up to her quickly enough. What's going on? I am in Super Saiyan form! It was then that I realized that I wasn't. I was sweating, gasping for air. Then the true horror dawned on me. I had wasted all of my energy by flying so quickly out of the pit!  
  
Videl was falling farther and farther away. I sped towards her though, I had to rescue her. Videl's body thrashed in the wind as she shrieked, but just a little closer. The finely pointed rocks were jumping up in the back ground, leaping towards her body like arms reaching up to grab, but just a little bit closer- I am so close! I reached out my hand and grabbed her leg jerking her forward to where she was even with me, then I grabbed my arms around her and held her close. It was then that I saw what would happen. We would both die- I was moving too fast to stop in time above the jagged rocks, and we were too close to maneuver away from them. So is this it? Is this how I am going to let it end?  
  
*I began thinking of Cell and Piccolo, how it felt so good to see them bleed... like I am bleeding inside of me.*  
  
I can't let her die like Piccolo. I never want to see another innocent blood drop be spilled at the cause of my hands again. I twisted my body to where she was on top of me. Videl shrieked as she burrowed her head into my chest. The jagged rock ripped easily into my back, I bit my tongue. I wasn't going to scream, I wasn't going to scream. The rock dug in deeper like a claw grabbing hold of me. It inched into my spine until I feared it would crack, but it didn't. And I laid there, impaled on the rock. The pain washed over me in waves as I gasped for air. A small halo formed in my vision as my world shadowed, and my body grew cold. I could feel my blood rushing to my back, and this time the sharp coppery scent was my own.  
  
Then my thoughts trailed to another- if I wasted all of my energy, then Cell should've been able to easily beat me. He was letting me win, letting me think I was superior, but why? What is he planning? His voice cut in answering my thoughts.  
  
"Just like a fucking pig, stuck on a stake where you belong." Cell laughed as if he just cracked the best joke. "NOW!! Time for the grand finale."  
  
He reached down and snatched Videl from my chest. She screamed kicking him, but Cell just stood there unharmed by her tactics. He floated from the jagged rocks and landed next to them safely on the ground.  
  
I grunted with effort, but couldn't move. I twisted my head trying to see them, but failed. Then I heard Videl scream again. Suddenly, strength renewed my body. I jerked myself upward freeing my body from the rock. I gasped as the claws were forced free from my spine, how my spine bended with the rock and then was released unharmed. My back throbbed violently pulsating with my heart, but I had no time for it. I floated with what little energy I had, almost collapsed, but regained stability. Painstakingly, I floated over the rocks and landed some feet from Cell.  
  
Cell held Videl in front of him like a trophy by the neck as she screamed. Horror etched her face like the blood on my palms, along with the veins over her skin from a lack of oxygen. She shrieked a choked, forced sob that almost sounded like a gasp, and the anger began to course through me with each one.  
  
"Put her down." Cell laughed at my order. I took a deep breath, and spoke again. "What are you going to do to her." I said as if an order.  
  
Cell's smile grew to a demented smirk. "I am going to eat her, until her bones glisten in the sun. I am going to drink every last drop of her until I can taste her in my spit and smell her in my sweat." He laughed psychoticly.  
  
Videl was now gasping, her eyes bulging out of her head. He raised her to him until she was just inches from her kneck. I knew this was it. I couldn't beat him, he was going to have to get what he wanted.  
  
*I am too connected to them to slip away, I am just as stained as they are- I held up my bloody palms to stare at them.*  
  
She isn't like us. She has no penance to die for. He was going to have to get what he wanted- and I am going to give it to him. I took the poison from my pocket. I with a deep breath I popped the top off and indulged myself in it.  
  
"Taste this Cell!" I screamed as I lept at him clumsily and slammed my fist into his teeth.  
  
I fell into a heap at his feet and pulled myself to my knees before him. I gasped for air and slowly looked upwards to see Cell staring down at me unharmed. He released Videl and she fell in a heap next to me. I heard a whistle as air rushed into her lungs and the veins vanished from her skin.  
  
"Fucking insane." Cell said venomously.  
  
My head throbbed. I could feel it now- inside of me. It pulsed hard.  
  
"What's wrong Cell." I spat back.  
  
It beat through me like a drum. My heart race, I fought to keep it from my voice, but it was tightening my throat. It threatened to steal my air- and I knew it soon would.  
  
"Don't like food that fights back?"  
  
It beat through me, faster, faster,  
  
"Scared of a challenge?"  
  
faster, faster,  
  
"Want it easy, without a fight, a silver platter"  
  
Faster, Faster, Faster  
  
"You want it as fucking weak as you are you mother F-"  
  
FASTER!  
  
I let out a scream as my head spun with it now. I didn't realize what I screamed, nor did I care. The pain was even now with my arm, my arm? I looked down to see I had no arm. Then I looked up. Cell had ripped it off and was indulging himself in it- he had ripped it off when I screamed 'FUCKER'. I was breathing heavily, and it spun.  
  
Cell ripped his teeth into my flesh lick the blood greedily from my arm. He dug into it letting the blood spill over his chin as he swallowed chunks of my flesh whole. Soon there was no flesh left and he began crunching into my bone, drinking the sweet nectar of the marrow from the middle. I waited, aniticipating.  
  
Cell looked down at me. "What are you fucking staring at?"  
  
I smirked, and said bitterly. "I hope you choke on it."  
  
Cell began laughing hysterically. Then he gasped, and began choking. Blood regurgitated from his mouth. He ripped at his throat as blue veins protruded from his skin. His eyes bulged out and the blood popped in them letting his eyes spill over red. Slowly, dust began falling from his skin, like ashes. Until his skin clung to the frame of his body, shriveled like a raisin. He screamed in agony and raised his arms in horror, staring at his bony frame. His face was now a hollowed skeleton with skin clingy to it like dirt caught in its crevices. Cell moved his jaw forming his words, "What have you done to me? You fuckin"- but then his jaw broke of and fell to the floor, breaking into a thousand pieces.  
  
As I watched his body shed to ashes, as Cell stood accusingly in horror, I began speaking his eulogy. "My friend Bulma made a poison. It is specially designed to fit to the DNA you possess- which is that of a Human, Namek, and Saiyan. She took into consideration the quality of each race, and made a poison that would tear apart your DNA until you have nothing left. I took the poison knowing you'd eat a piece of me. It will not harm me, but it's deadly to you. Now, you will die because of your lust for blood."  
  
Cell had fallen to the floor and began twisting his skeleton-like body in convulsions. Junks of his body fell off and crushed into dust. Cell wrenched his head up towards me. Slowly, he began sliding over the dirt of the earth, his body kicking up dust, but the dust was his own flesh. From the waist down disintegrated from him into ashes and rose up in a cloud of smoky dust. Cell stared up at me with hollow sockets etched in the skull which held his blood red eyes. His jawless mouth made a strange hissing noise like a snake as he leaned up to me from his belly on the ground. He reached up and clung onto the bottom of my gi with one hand, but his hand was too fragile and fell into dust the second it touched my gi.  
  
"My death will speed after yours Cell, but the difference between us is your death holds"-  
  
Cell hissed venomously as the crumbling of his arm had a domino effect. Quickly, his shadowy skeleton fell into dust until he was just a heap of ashes. Smoke rose lightly, as I stared down at the ashes, how it formed a shadow on the ground where he once lied. It was then that I whispered the remainder of his eulogy to his shadow.  
  
-"no honor."  
  
I looked from the shadow to Videl. She laid there, and I knew soon I would too, except her chest rose peacefully in a rhythm. I knew what I had to do. I couldn't leave her here all alone. I scooped her up into my arms and rose into the air. Shakily and with little skill, I flew all the way back into the city.  
  
I knew exactly where to bring her body. I walked into the ruins of the building I found her in and towards the middle. I saw shadows of people scatter and heard whispers rose, but I knew they wouldn't hurt her.  
  
"It's Videl"  
  
"That stranger has her."  
  
"Do you think he hurt her?"  
  
"She's alive! I knew it."  
  
The whispers echoed in unison. I laid her down in the middle and admired her for a moment. She seemed so fragile, and she was beaten badly by Cell. But she would survive, I knew she would.  
  
I turned, and forced myself to walk from the ruins and exited into the streets. I forced myself to leave her to her friends, and probably the only family she knew. I stared up into the sky and thought about it. I thought back on Cell. and my thoughts wondered to the other deaths.  
  
*I let it burn itself into my mind- a reminder of what I am now. Father,... I am sorry... look at your son now! LOOK at your fucking son RIGHT NOW.*  
  
Then I thought of Videl, and my knees buckled. I swayed and my world fell into blackness as I crashed into the dirt of my grave. I gasped for air, my lungs burned on fire along with the pain which coursed through my back up my spine. A deep coldness swept over me, a sharp icy numbness which originated from my back and arm. My head throbbed and I began to choke, blood coming from my mouth. I licked my lips, the taste and scent of my own blood new to me. I could feel it slipping away, far from me until the buzz in my ear was just a whisper in the distance, until all was gone. In this place, I realized, as I thought back on Videl, and my father was new to me.  
  
I realized the love of one willing to die for another. I did not kill him, and Cell did not kill him, and it was not suicide. Just like Videl didn't kill me. My father's death was of honor, and I hope when he looks at me he can see how I have tried so hard to be like him. But I can never be as much of a saint as him, and I am sorry. But I love him. I hope he can see that I still wish it was me that died that day. Because I love him. Because I want to be the son I wasn't that day. But I understand him now, and I now know why. I realize the love of one willing to die for another, and thank you father for all you have done. And I promise I will never forget, and I swear that I will honor your death. I am sorry father, I wish I was born again. I wish I was your son again. With that my last breath left my body.  
  
  
  
Then I gasped and bolted straight up in a sweat. I blinked hard in the sunlight and looked around confused. I was sitting under the tree I had fallen asleep under in the first place beside the lake. I looked down at my body. I was no longer a young adult, but an eleven-year-old boy again. What is going on?  
  
A voice answered me. "You are born again."  
  
I looked up to see Gloria. I stood quickly and demanded. "What happened! Where am I? I thought I was dead!"  
  
She held up a hand. "One question at a time." She then continued. "You never fell asleep under a tree. You wished you was never born, so God granted it. He took your life away and you were never born. The world you have been living in was what the world would've been like if you was never born."  
  
"Why?"  
  
She smiled. "Because you needed this. You need to realize the importance of life itself, before you ended up like Cell. That's why I pulled the Cell from your world and let you kill him again, remember?"  
  
I shivered. He remembered Cell materializing from nowhere and then brutally killing him in a fit of rage.  
  
She continued. "You needed to be reminded of why you so looked up to your dad. With great power comes great responsibility."  
  
I looked up to her from my standing position. "Why was I a young adult then?"  
  
"Because all the battles you have been in and all the events of your life caused you to grow up quickly, so your 'other world' body showed the age of your soul instead of your physical body. Even though you wasn't born, you still had a body. God wished for you to experience the full impact of not being born, so a body was essential; therefore, you were given one."  
  
I whispered the next question. "Why did I come back? I don't understand. I died, so. shouldn't I be with my dad."  
  
Gloria laughed lightly. "Yes, you died twice. In this world when your wish was granted, and in the world you was never born in when you died for Videl. But the whole purpose of this was to teach you a lesson, and you learned it. So now all has been undone. It is has if none of it happened. You lost no time, and you are back to the second all of this began. All that is left are the memories. Therefore, you are still alive. You proved to learn your lesson when you wished to be born again and fully understood your father. And now that you have, I must go. By the way, Gokuh is proud of you, he said so himself."  
  
I stared in shock at first and couldn't respond, then I found my voice. "Wait! What about?" But it was too late, Gloria had vanished. My dad? What- How is he? And what about Videl? There were still so many unanswered questions.  
  
I stared at the ground, then I smiled. I raced down the forest trail and up to my house. I knew she was there, I could smell supper outside. I busted down the door and into the kitchen, and the first thing I did was jump onto mother knocking her to the floor with a delighted squeal.  
  
"Gohan! What has gotten into you son!"  
  
I gave her a kiss as she lifted me off of her and placed me onto the floor. She called me son! She knows me! I didn't even shrink back when she gave me a stern look. I never realized what it was to have her, even though she gives so much school work.  
  
"I'm just glad to see you that's all." I said as I began wiping the dirt off of my face.  
  
She looked worried then. "Gohan, are you alright? You're cleaning."  
  
I smiled. "I am great. I have a family, and I am alive."  
  
A/N: Gesticulate- to make hand motions while speaking I used that word and never defined it in my story. Sorry! Anyways, I am considering an epilogue to show what happens when Gohan meets Videl in the city. So I need your help. When you review, could you say whether I should end it with this chapter, or make an epilogue. And if I do, should it be a happy ending or sad ending. Thankyou! (By the way, if no one responds to this message, I most likely won't have an epilogue, and just in case I don't have an epilogue, here it is:..)  
  
The End (bet you guys thought you'd never see that, eh?) 


	9. Chapter9EpilogueMemories and Shadows

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z, I am just borrowing its characters for my fanfic- so don't sue. I am poor with nothing you would like.  
  
A/N: Okay, I read the reviews and thought long and hard, and decided to give it an epilogue since everyone agreed it deserves one. Then I thought longer and decided that I am going to make a sequel to this story. When the first chapter of the sequel comes it will be obvious, cuz it will be named Heaven Forsake Me II. N-Y-Wayz, here it is! Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 9- Epilogue- Memories and Shadows  
  
I skipped down the streets of the city whistling nonchalantly. It was the day after the longest ordeal of my life, and here I am again alive. Stopping in front of Capsule Corp., I hoisted the heavy bag over my shoulders as I began to walk up the driveway to Bulma's house. The bag was full of sugar; it seems Bulma has some important guests to impress, so she is baking a lot of food.  
  
I heard a tweet off to my right, but ignored it as I began lifting my hand to the door, and stopped. Inside, I heard a crash as a breakable flew across the room followed by the echo of voices deep inside.  
  
"Fuck! Why do you have to be so PIGHEADED!!" a shrill voice screamed, recognizable as Bulma's.  
  
"How dare you address me in such a manner! ME! The Prince of Saiyans!" Obviously Vejita's voice.  
  
"I needed those brownies for the banquet! You glutton!"  
  
"Maybe if you kept food around, I wouldn't have eaten it!"  
  
"GLUTTON!!"  
  
"WHORE! If you weren't busy fucking Yamcha, and cooked like a woman-"  
  
"I AM NOT FUCKING YAMCHA!!"  
  
"THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SCREAMED LAST NIGHT IN BED!! WHORE!!"  
  
I heard Bulma shriek as a crash echoed in the house, then heavy footsteps thudded out of the living room followed by silence. I stood behind the close door unsure, uncomfortable; then I finally opened it only to be greeted by a litter of glass. It looked as if a tornado tore through the living room. My mouth dropped slowly, but quickly I closed it as I began to trudge through various smashed objects on the floor.  
  
My discomfort grew, and I spotted a clear spot on the countertop. It was then that a decision entered my mind: put the bag on the counter, turn around, and leave now. I dropped the bag like it was a disease and began to turn, when a sound caught my ear. Bulma was sobbing uncontrollably from her bedroom. I stood, staring into the dark hallway.  
  
"What are you looking at, boy." A gruff voice demanded.  
  
I turned to see Vejita. Innocently I replied, "Me? Nothing."  
  
Vejita glared down at me darkly, with a flicker of hate in his eyes. "Go. Now."  
  
I could almost feel my body shift for the door, but for some reason I didn't move. I just stood there, glued in place, with Bulma's sobs echoing in my brain. She was crying, just like before.  
  
An image popped into my mind. The house was older now, spun with cobwebs. And Bulma was the same age, but wore lines of weariness. She was standing over a crib, crying still- and for who but the man that just made her cry.. It is all the same. She still cries for him. Only now he is alive, and how good of a friend am I still but to still leave her here and kill her again- only now from the inside instead of over a poison for Cell.  
  
I can not leave her here dead inside. With all my strength I looked deep into Vejita's angry eyes and stuttered out, "Y-you didn't have to, ya know,. make her cry."  
  
Vejita's eyes narrowed more as he set his jaw. "This is none of your concern, boy."  
  
I wanted to agree with him, and just leave and be on my way. But I could still see Bulma, distraught and convinced he is alive. I could picture what Videl saw, as Bulma drowned Trunks in the river. I could see her gasping her last breath. because I slaved her to death. Because I was bent on the thirst of revenge.  
  
I set my jaw also and looked Vejita dead in the eyes. "You didn't have to make her cry." I said without stuttering.  
  
Vejita showed his teeth and swung his hand across my face. My head snapped quickly from his hand, but I didn't wince. Not even when I felt the swelling of my eye, or when it pulsed with my heart. I listened as Vejita heatedly spat his rage.  
  
"I SAID THIS IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN!" Vejita growled. "I am the Prince of ALL Saiyans! Including you! Women wait on me! I am not some commoner who makes his own meals! AND IT WAS JUST TEN DAMN BROWNIES!! SHE CAN BAKE MORE!! SHE'S A WOMAN!! JUST A DAMN WOMAN!!"  
  
I slowly turned my head back, unfazed. When Vejita saw this, his features calmed a bit, and he smirked. "Well, it's about time you quit acting like a foolish child and more of a warrior."  
  
Bitterly, I said back, "Vejita, you have no idea." When he chuckled, I cut in quickly, "She's just a damn woman, who carried your only son for nine months. She is just a damn woman, who pays your rent, buys your clothes, provides your food. She is just a damn woman, who is in that room -crying- over you. She never cries, you know."  
  
I waited a moment to let it sink in, and to take in Vejita's agitated state, before I continued. "I will go now, but only after I say this- you can kill all the people you wish and curse all the graves you spit on, but it seems your greatest difficulty is apologizing. I never knew a man who stuck his tail between his legs and ran -like a coward- from an apology."  
  
Vejita stared in an angry shock as he realized what I just said. "How dare.. you call ME a COWARD!!" Vejita shrieked in rage.  
  
My expression didn't change. "So what? Better to be a coward than to swallow your false pride. After all, she is just a damn woman who shares your son. And don't all true men curse their mates?"  
  
I turned my back slowly, almost expecting a punch, but I received none. I walked out of the door, and shut. afterwards, standing there for a moment finally allowing myself to shake. I just spoke down Vejita, Prince of Saiyans. Only my father and Bulma ever dared to-  
  
I stopped my thoughts as I heard Vejita's whispered voice choke out words I never thought I'd hear. "Bulma- I, uh, I-I m sorry. for hitting you." On the other end I could hear Bulma's sobs stop, and no more shrieks, no crashing, none.  
  
I smiled a bit pleased with myself, and descended down the driveway of Capsule Corp. I heard a tweet to my right and stopped, turning to see a tiny Blue Jay. But I had no time to stare, I began to quickly walk the busy streets, staring all around. The buildings, fully intact, lined the streets full of life and people. It was then that a particular person caught my eye, and I stopped to stare.  
  
There she was- Videl. She wore her hair in pig tails, but she was different. She wasn't skinny and sickly like before, and she didn't seem remote and withdrawn either. Now, she was tone and lean, with muscles, and she held her head with confidence as she crossed the street. I remembered how before she seemed so fake, so. unfitting in her place. But now she seemed fulfilled and complete, like this is how she was meant to be.  
  
I was so busy staring, that I didn't realize, not until a split second- she was crossing a lane right in front of a speeding Chevrolet. I blinked, surprised, then my reflexes took over.  
  
"Videl!" I shouted as I raced across the street.  
  
She glanced at me, perplexed, but there wasn't much time for her to wonder. I shoved her out of the lane, as the metal of the car slammed into my legs, which were knocked out from under me. I rolled over the car helplessly, as the glass smashed into my face, and I landed behind the car on the street.  
  
The car's breaks squeeled, but when the driver realized his predicament he quickly sped off. I layed there startled, but calmed when I saw Videl's concerned face appear over me.  
  
"Omigosh! Are you alright!" She said nearly in tears.  
  
I smiled, as I stood up. "Yeah. I'm fine."  
  
Videl stared in shock. "You don't even have a scratch." She said astonished.  
  
I was puzzled for a moment, but then I remembered; she doesn't know I'm a Saiyan. I laughed rubbing the back of my head while blushing. "Yeah! Guess I'm just lucky like that."  
  
"You sure are. thank you. You saved my life. You are welcome in my home anytime."  
  
Videl bowed, and then began to walk away.  
  
"Hey wait! Don't you want to know how I knew your name?" I asked.  
  
She turned and giggled. "I'm the daughter of Hercule, the man who saved earth from Cell. Everyone knows my name."  
  
I stared for a moment bewildered, then laughed. That's right, I was born now. Earth was saved by Hercule. well, according to the earth.  
  
*-------------------------------------*  
  
I walked slowly along the forest trail feeling his ki. It still hung over me like a shadow, and I had to see him to vanish it. Even now, after I know it was not him but a stranger in his skin, I can still see it in my head from my dream. I can still see him raping my mother, screaming at her those words- "WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING CUM!"  
  
And still then, if that was just a stranger, another version of him, isn't it still a part of him? Would he still- could he- be a murderer?  
  
But even then, another image filled my mind. We were still falling down that pit, beating one another. And he was still at the bottom lying, dead, with his skull split open. His brains still oozed over the dirt ground. He still stared at me, with blank sockets. hollow sockets staring accusingly. Like a ghost. one in my head, I killed my best friend. I stopped at the edge of the trail and looked at my hands. I could still see the crevices of blood in my palm, as I slowly raised my eyes to see Piccolo standing alongside the river.  
  
I began walking towards him and stopped a couple of feet away, knowing he knew my presence.  
  
"Gohan. what are you doing here." He said calmly, a bit annoyed.  
  
I didn't speak for a moment, and this caught his attention. He glanced over his shoulder but kept his back to me, aware that my usual childish ways were gone.  
  
"I just had to see you, with my own eyes. I know you will always be here, but I just wanted to see you, that's all, with my own eyes not with a ki."  
  
"What do you want." He said, hiding his emotion from his voice.  
  
I opened my mouth, but then closed it to wet my lips. "You and my dad use to fight. And. you were against him. a while back."  
  
A heaviness hung in the air between us. Neither of us said it, but we knew what I was asking. We knew there was blood on Piccolo's hands.  
  
"That was a long time ago. Things change, people change. What is there one day may not be the next, that is why our decisions are so weighted. I made a decision, and here I am."  
  
I swallowed, ready for my next question. "Why did you decide this."  
  
Piccolo glanced over his shoulder one last time, and looked away. "Because your father's death was noble. He died so Radditz couldn't succeed. Now, I won't deny I didn't enjoy killing your father, but it wasn't what I thought it would be."  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.  
  
"It wasn't what I thought it would be. It didn't taste the way I thought. Victory was bitter, and it soured my stomach. Your father's death was noble, so what did that leave me. There is nothing more repulsive than killing a willing foe." He paused. "And then I met my first friend. And I realized why your father was so willing to die."  
  
I smiled, it wasn't often Piccolo opened up his emotions, and I basked in the praise.  
  
"But that doesn't mean your training will be any easier kid. Now, either drop into a sparring stance and attack or go home."  
  
I felt a flash in my head as I saw a quick image of the pit, and I realized I couldn't spar with Piccolo so soon. But I did miss the forest days before Vejita came when we trained, and I was eager to spar. I now felt a greater understanding of my best friend. Yes, the victory was bitter, and my stomach was sour.  
  
"Maybe later Piccolo-san, my mother wants me home soon. See ya!" I shouted as I waved by and ran off into the woods.  
  
The sun was descending in the sky and the forest was shadowed deeply. Mother will be furious if I am not home soon. So I cut off and began to follow a stream which was a shortcut. My mouth became dry as I pictured my mother standing at the door impatiently, and I dropped to my knees in front of the stream for a drink.  
  
The water danced before me, reflecting on the trees around me. It looked like the water was dancing on the trees around me. I admired this before I looked into the stream. I saw my face staring back at me, and I quickly bashed it with my cupped hands gathering water to drink. I took a long sip before I looked back down at my reflection.  
  
My eyes stared back at me, hollow and stealthy. I blinked and furrowed my brows, wondering if I was becoming ill. Then I felt uneasy, as I realized. I lifted my hand and watched the reflection lift his. Gaping, I stared at the reflections hand. It was covered in dry blood which clung to every crevice, every print in the hand. And along its wrist he bore a deep inflicted gash. I looked slowly to my own palm. which bore none of these traits. Slowly, I looked back, and all I saw was a deep shadow stretching across the stream where my reflection had been, for the sun had vanished for the sky, and I, along with all, am nothing but a shadow beneath the darkness of this sky.  
  
I lowered my hand and stared into my shadow. The sourness of my stomach had grown, and it now littered my throat. What was this? A mirage? Then a voice popped into my own head, a bitter voice which spoke flared with hate- "The guilt began to bury you as you fell to the ground and dropped your head from the light. How can you climb from here if you can't even stand? You began thinking of Cell and Piccolo, how it felt so good to see them bleed... like you am bleeding inside of your soul. You are too connected to me to slip away now, You are just as stained as they are- hold up your bloody palms to stare at them. Let it burn itself into your mind- a reminder of what you now are. Father,... look at your son now! LOOK at your fucking son RIGHT NOW."  
  
I shook from the voice violently, unsure of how to react. Then the motion flared through me. "I am sorry! I said I was sorry! I am not like them, I swear! I am not a killer!"  
  
"Murderer. you are just a murderer, just like they are." The voice sang tauntingly.  
  
"No, I didn't kill my father. He died an honorably death- he died for the planet earth!" .and I am sorry, father, your son can never be like you. but I now understand at least, I know.  
  
"You know, You know, what you know is the rush of blood in your hand, on your tongue."  
  
"I have no blood on me! It was washed clean! It never happened!"  
  
"Then why did you dream of it last night? What made you say those things to Vejita, to Piccolo, recognize Videl?"  
  
"I said it never happened! God brought me back, so now all has been undone. It is has if none of it happened. I lost no time, all that is left is memories."  
  
"Memories can't be created without time and action. There's images in your head, and they won't go away. You will never be the same, so why bother? Why bother to fight it? C'me on, you know what you want to do."  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about."  
  
"He's still there... hurting your friends. Remember? Vejita killed your friends, and now he is killing Bulma from within. Are you not going to protect her? Or are you going to kill her, let her die, like with Cell. You killed her, and now you are doing it again by not helping, Leting her die."  
  
"Vejita changed! He is on our side now! He is one of us! And he apologized to Bulma!"  
  
"Then why does he act like he does? Why does he still claim he will one day rule the universe like he is meant to? He hit her, are you going to let him hurt her?"  
  
"Empty threats. They are all empty threats-"  
  
"Let them die, you are going to let them die, Let them all fall down."  
  
"STOP IT!! STOP IT!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!"  
  
I shouted as I fell over into a crouching position cupping my ears. I began to rock back and forth, comforted by the motion of my body, as I chanted my demand- get out of my head- filling my head with only my own voice, such a comforting motion, to and fro- to and fro- back and forth- , you can rely on it, knowing the to will always follow the fro, - to and fro, until the moon beamed down on me from high over head, and I was fast asleep on the ground next to the stream, flat on my chest.  
  
And my shadow danced over the water from within the stream, as I slept, wide awake my shadow waited.  
  
A/N: I set the epilogue up the introduce the sequel almost. I hope you guys like it so far. so question for the sequel, what is up with Gohan? Is he going insane, or is he possessed, or both, or what? Is he going end up killing Vejita, or is that cut on the reflections a forshadowing of his own actions? Find out! In the sequel! 


End file.
